Dealing with the upset child is difficult, and the way the child deals with their emotion can be constructive or destructive.
As a parent, there are higher chances of yelling at your child to stop being mad. But there is a better alternative – Listen to your child. It helps you to teach your kids:
- Valuable communication skills
- Demonstrate empathy
- Model compassion
- Strengthen the parent-child connection
Now, it is never an easy role. Listed below are easy strategies on how to deal with the upset child the right way –
Table of Contents
Let the Child Express all Their Emotions:
We understand that it is difficult for the parent to see their child being upset, sad, angry or worried. But always resist the urge to tell the child to calm down or stop crying. You need to first listen to what they have to narrate. Try to stay calm instead of trying to hold them back from being upset.
Let the Child Know That you are Listening:
Your mobile, television, household chores, office work and even your thoughts – everything is a distraction. Set all of it aside and completely engage yourself in listening to what your child has to say. Your child feels respected for the time and attention you give and help them quickly calming down. When you pay attention, it sends your little message that you genuinely care about his situation and feelings. It is part of the parenting responsibilities.
Close your Mouth and Open the Ears:
It is usual that the parents to interrupt and talk in between listening. But, it is strictly a no-no. First, allow them the time to speak. Even if it is hard for you to stop talking, you need to listen to them completely.
Express your Curiosity:
Ask questions that help the child tell more about the situation, for instance, “and then what happened?” It stimulates the child to vent all of it out. Talking through the issue will help the child work through the situation they are upset with and calm down quickly.
Do not Defend. Instead, Look for the Positives:
Even if you find something wrong or inaccurate, do not attempt to correct them and defend them in such a situation. Defensiveness in such scenes makes things go wrong. Set all your agenda aside. And do not try to teach them a lesson for now, but concentrate on peacefully listening to them. Also, watch out for your reaction when you are listening. Do not make unnecessary hand moves or incorrect eye contacts. Stay focused. Breathe and solely listen.
Moreover, instead of focusing on the negatives or their flaws, you should find something positive and helpful in what your child is trying to tell you. It helps in building empathy and builds a positive relationship with your child.
When you feel that you are tending to lose focus, try to delay the conversation until you are calm again. Ask your child for a small break and get back to them at the promised time. Even when it is uncomfortable, ensure to stay focused on calmly listen. Parents need to learn this too! For any kind of parenting guidance or to help you understanding your children better there are many hypnotherapist in Manchester